Category Archives: Uncategorized

Yesterday (11th) was 11 months since My Lady passed away. 11 fucking months… I’ve managed to ignore it for the most part and I spent a few hours in our UN meeting last night. Much needed. We had the best laugh in ages. I’m struggling to keep my shit together today though. They have aContinue reading “11 months…”

When I first went back to work, the guy I started with hadn’t turned up. Later that day we find out he is having a Covid test. Yesterday we found out he got a positive result. I had been working with him for over two weeks leading up to Christmas. So my Princeling and IContinue reading “Covid or not Covid? That is the question… Among others…”

So back to work this morning. They had a stock take at the weekend. Apparently no one thought it might be a good idea to actually record the audit. As a result we can’t touch anything yet they still want us in. 8 hours cleaning the same bench… I mean… What the actual? I’m notContinue reading “Back to the grindstone…”

So it’s New Year’s Eve. Whoop di f**king doo. The worst year of my life is almost at an end. You’d think I’d be thinking ‘Thank the gods that’s over, next year will be better.’ wouldn’t you? Well… Not so much. Question: Why on earth would 2021 be any better? The worst thing has alreadyContinue reading ““Happy” New Year..”

I got a negative result back. Good I suppose. For all my being dramatic about it, the whole thing is almost anticlimactic. I still feel like shit, just not Covid shit. It also still means that my Covid precautions aren’t working, so should Covid actually come along, then I’ll get it for sure. I don’tContinue reading “Not Covid…”

I woke up quite late today. Around 11am. My throat is so sore and dry I can barely talk at all. The cough has come on a lot too. Great. All symptoms that have been associated with Covid. My first reaction is to start looking for a test. Last time I tried, the system wasContinue reading “Covid?…”

So today is Christmas day. Our normal routine is for the kids to come in our bedroom and open their stockings at the end of our bed with My Lady and I still tucked up. That wasn’t happening this year. We didn’t even need to talk about it. It would have been so weird consideringContinue reading “Merry…? Not so much…”

So, having major performance anxiety over the presents I got for Precious and my Princeling, I’m sat in Burger King having done some more present shopping. I managed to walk past Lush this time. I have Machine Head on my earphones. My burger isn’t even hot. I can’t be arsed to even mention it soContinue reading “Performance Anxiety…”

Monday… I’m sitting in my car having my tea break. The car park is opposite the hospital where My Lady passed away. On Saturday that disgusting creature, Bojo, announced that Christmas is pretty much cancelled. A new strain of Coronavirus has appeared in the South East. 70% more transmissible, it seems to be rampant. AsContinue reading “Mutant…”

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve blogged again. My life has pretty much continued from where my last blog left off. I’m still wading through this cluster of meltdowns. The new job has been an interesting experience. As you know, I had washed and ironed all of my smart shirts in anticipation of (hopefully)Continue reading “The gift that keeps on giving… Still.”

As I start typing this, I have no idea what I want to say yet. I just feel the need to write. The last few shit days have turned into the last few shit weeks and there’s no sign of it letting up. I just miss My Lady so fucking much. How will I everContinue reading “Errr…”

Surreal: adjective. Having the qualities of surrealism; bizarre. “a surreal mix of fact and fantasy” No shit… This week has been another strange one. The winter depression kicked in pretty hard this week. I’ve had a nap at some point almost every day for a week. Not a good sign. I’ve also been feeling particularlyContinue reading “Connection…”

Why does life go around in circles again and again? Without a change in perception or behaviour, what else do I think would happen? The only thing that changes is the time intervals between events. The last few days have been hell. The colossal relief I felt when I found out I only had workContinue reading “And around we go…”

I have next to no work this week. Part of me is relieved. Yesterday’s funk has bled into today too and I really couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed this morning. As ever, I do it anyway. How the hell I’m able to break out of some these deep downers, I’ll never know.Continue reading “Phew…”

Today my anxiety is off the scale. I’m considering stopping the caring. I won’t give up until there’s no other option, but I’m constantly either wound up about the coming visits, or stressed out during the visits. Usually both. For some reason the drive home is always unpleasant. Emotional release from empathising with the clientsContinue reading “Regression…”

You may remember me mentioning previously that I’ve been watching Machine Heads acoustic happy hour on Friday nights on Facebook live. Rob Flynn, the singer and founder started the shows when the pandemic first took hold and the world went into lockdown. It’s just him and sometimes the bassist, J fiddling around on acoustics playingContinue reading “Headcase…”

So much has happened over the last week or so. A week ago I had a melt down after I finished work. My dear friend and newly adopted brother came round and gave me some heavy news. My dear friend and newly adopted sisters mother has been diagnosed with cancer. What… The… Fuck… That’s it,Continue reading “Simmering again…”

I found a suitable car in the end. Ironically the same model, only three years younger. Apart from a slightly noisy n/s rear wheel bearing, it’s quite a solid little car. It has already shown me that the last one was a death trap in the end. Glad to be shot of it now. It’sContinue reading “Got a new motor?..”

Thirteen years ago today, My Lady and I got married at the Mouth registry office, seven months after meeting. We had never been happier. We only told four or five people. Both our eldest daughters and two friends were with us. I cried through nearly the whole ceremony. Every second of that day is burnedContinue reading ““Happy” Hallow-Versary…”

One of my clients got me thinking yesterday. I’ve never really been a religious or spiritual man. The closest I ever came was when My Lady and I were courting. Even then I didn’t believe in a deity of any kind. More a worship of nature than anything. I’ve a had a couple of peopleContinue reading “Fun in the mundane…”