Regression…

Today my anxiety is off the scale. I’m considering stopping the caring. I won’t give up until there’s no other option, but I’m constantly either wound up about the coming visits, or stressed out during the visits. Usually both. For some reason the drive home is always unpleasant. Emotional release from empathising with the clients I guess. Who knows?

I feel like Covid is closing in around me. Well… It is. Work husband now has it, my newly adopted brother and sister have had it, another case announced at my Princelings college, one of my colleagues has it too. In fact, it not impossible that I’ve had it. I’ve been around all these people at some point and yet have not been ill all year. Not even a sniffle.

I’ve been regressing to the summer vibe, only it’s pissing down with rain and there’s a howling wind whipping up. Ugh. Took me 4 hours to get on and do something this morning and that was a pamper Lush bath. I just want the summer to come back. I always been a Sun worshipper. Literally at one point but that’s another story. My Lady and I were going to purchase a SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) lamp for this winter. I’ve always been a bit down in winter. Unless it snows of course. Even so…

Ran the hoover around a bit and that’s about it. I have my guitar on the stand next to my desk waiting for me to play it but it’s just sat there.

The penny dropped earlier… It’s nine months (11th) today that My Lady passed away.

Fuck… My… Life…

Ok, so that’s what part of the underlying emotions were about. I simply sent Precious an “I love you”, knowing full well she will be having a sad today too.

I’m done with today. Early night with the laptop and watch some IRacing.

Meh…