Category Archives: Uncategorized

I’m noticing a pattern in my moods recently. Whenever I’m off work I’m more often than not mooching around doing housework, changing things around, doing anything to keep my mind busy and productive. All the while quietly simmering in the background. It’s been getting worse each time. All I wanted to do yesterday was sleep.Continue reading “Simmering… How new.”

Well, I’ve refused to believe it until now but having just completed my induction for the Ding vaccination centre, I’m so close to starting now. On the way to the Ding, I was thinking about my former colleagues and wondering who I might bump into. As soon as I got in the room I foundContinue reading “Hope at last.”

It’s Friday. I’ve had three days off this week. All three of them I spent manically cleaning and rearranging, interspersed with the odd mini meltdown. All three days I’ve had at least one hoodie nap during the day. This depression, it’s fluctuating wildly. This morning I feel ok. Yesterday I was down, really down. IContinue reading “Phase 874.4 complete.”

It’s Tuesday, my “Sunday” as it were. On Friday, I noticed that some of the ceiling plaster had fallen on the floor in the downstairs toilet which is under the bath upstairs. It has been flaky for some time so I wasn’t that concerned. Randomly, I decided to actually have a look at it. ItContinue reading “Post depression depression.”

Well, it’s Sunday. I’ve been working in a bread warehouse since Tuesday. The weekday guy is the most miserable, bitter old goat. Constantly sighing and puffing every time something isn’t done quite right. And by done quite right, I mean if you hadn’t used a bloody set square to line up these precious bread stacks.Continue reading “Spoiled rotten…”

So we only have today and tomorrow left at the vaccination centre. There is definitely an air of sadness around. So many volunteers and staff have different last shifts, so it’s an almost daily goodbye to someone. I’m going to be very sad to see the end of it all. My colleagues, the volunteers, clinical,Continue reading “All good things…”

It’s Sunday. A ‘proper’ Sunday. This is the first whole weekend I have had off in months. I’m sat in my garden with my last beer as the sun dips below my neighbours house. I’ve hoovered the lawn and weeded the crescent moon bed. I’m playing that yoga meditation music again. Ugh, I’m getting flashbacksContinue reading “Sweaty Betty…”

Well, it seems I always start my blog post’s when I’m on the car park position. It seems to be the only time at work that I can truly relax and reflect. I think I need to go out more. Just spent some time in the woods with Mr C. It would be good forContinue reading “Fings.”

It seems many people at work feel safe to confide in me. I’ve had several people over the last few weeks talk to me about some beef or another they have had with a colleague. Unfortunately for me, I like and respect both parties in all cases. It’s lovely they feel safe enough to shareContinue reading “A friendly face: Behind a mask…”

When My Lady and I met, we had both been through hell in our previous relationships. It was one of the many levels we connected on. We had both had enough of the bullshit from toxic people in general. One of the subsclub in Europe and one in California had got into a relationship togetherContinue reading “Toxicity…”

Sat on the car park corner again. Sunny Sunday afternoon, chilled tunes playing quietly. Could be worse. A lot worse. This week I have no morning starts at all. Should be interesting to see what happens to my sleeping pattern. There was no Zoom meeting last night but I still stayed up til gone twoContinue reading “Pruning…”

So, Friday has come again at last. Nice tidy pay check, beers already in and I’m ready to go. As there’s no show tonight, we should be on Zoom a lot earlier. For my last hour at work, I’m sat on the car park corner chilling with some quiet drum and bass while writing thisContinue reading “Friday… At last…”

So after having Sunday off for the first time in ages yesterday, work has been quite hectic today. 16-17 year olds are now approved for vaccination and we’re having a great turnout. It’s really good to know that despite the minority of their age being absolute retards, believing everything they see or hear on tiktokContinue reading “Mental load…”

So Friday has come again at last. After the shit show of this week, I so need to let my hair down. Talking of which, I noticed this morning that I have needed to dye my roots for some time. My appearance has not been top of my list recently as you can imagine. PrettyContinue reading “Some much needed frivolity…”

The inquest was this morning. Ever since around 9pm yesterday, my heart was constantly beating so hard, I thought it was going to burst out of my chest, Aliens style, on many occasions. I went to bed early and I couldn’t stop it. It took me over two hours to fall asleep. I’ve been workingContinue reading “What’s new?…”

So, My Lady’s inquest is less than a week away. I’ve read through the various doctors statements, coroners report (several times) and written and submitted my own statement. I only found out a few days ago that the coroner wanted my statement. I’ve been struggling really bad over the last week or so. Reliving theContinue reading “As D day approaches…”

So Friday was the 27th anniversary of the release of Machine Heads Burn My Eyes album. Friday nights happy hour was a full play through if the whole album with a few acoustic songs after. Chris Kontos and Logan Mader joined Robb and Jared for the show. It’s the first time Chris and Logan haveContinue reading “Burn my eyes…”

I’m sat in my car on my break. I’m still in a weird headspace. On top of everything, I received a message from Ms Poison on my new account. I’d forgotten to block her. I’ve spoken to her maybe two or three times in the last decade so it completely took me unawares. I haven’tContinue reading “So what now?”

So, I had my assessment with the ITalk service. It was quite positive. Obviously with sooo much wrong with my headspace, we could only skim across most of it. A few things that became clear very quickly are: not only have I got more wrong with me than I realised, but half the coping mechanismsContinue reading “More MOT stuff…”

It’s Saturday evening, I’m at work, stood on the car park that I’ve spent countless hours on since February. Blazing sunshine, little to no wind. There’s the occasional breeze, but not enough to cool me down. I’m loving finally getting the hot weather, I’ve craved for so long. The vaccine centre, is dead. Next toContinue reading “It’s been an education…”