Author Archives: Dukemoriarty

So it’s Friday evening and I’ve just finished work. It’s the end of the worst week of the year. The 11th was the fourth anniversary of My Lady’s death. Then three days later, Valentine’s Day. As you can imagine, I have a lot to process. It’s not even just the above that’s played its partContinue reading ““That” week…”

Isn’t it wonderfully strange how humans connect sometimes? One can be mooching along in life not looking for a deep connection of any kind, then one comes along, bang, out of the blue. It’s happened to me more than once and I’m as pleasantly surprised as ever every time. I’ve had and currently have manyContinue reading “Soul connection…”

One thing I noticed early on after My Lady died and especially after lockdown was that I seemed unable to filter my thoughts when talking to people. It got to the point where I started calling it “Truth Tourette’s”. My colleagues at the mass vaccination center knew all about it eventually. I would be askedContinue reading “Engage verbal filter…Verbal filter engaged… Or not…”

Sunday. Pottering around the house, cleaning, listening to some classic rock tunes for a change. I want to break free by Queen comes on. It starts me thinking… I really do. Where to even start though? I still don’t know. I went to the Rock and Metal DJ night in town on Friday. As everContinue reading “I want to break free…”

It’s Monday. I have today and tomorrow off work. I booked them off to get my first song finished among other things. I got a fair bit done on it yesterday. I’ve also spent a lot of time painting bits of the house. Throughout this time this whole “feels” thing has been playing on myContinue reading “The “Feels” part two.”

As obvious a statement as it is, humans are strange things at times. As a widow one gets incredibly lonely at times. Another obvious statement but bear with me. If there’s one thing I am, it’s a loyal bunny. In all the 13 years My Lady and I were together, I was never attracted toContinue reading “The “Feels”.”

I’ve just spent a short while reading the post of a fellow widow on WordPress. Just the term “fellow widow” has a strange ring to it even now, nearly four years after My Lady died. The post documents the feeling of a desire for big change, among other things. I related to it so muchContinue reading “Change.”

So after nearly four years since My Lady died, I’ve decided to renew my WordPress account and have a a bash at blogging again. It’s been over a year now and I found several draft blog posts waiting to be finished. I’ll probably finish them but they will slot into when I started them IContinue reading “Nearly four years”

It’s been ten months since I posted here. So much has happened since then. I have no less than six unfinished posts, sat collecting dust. I always wondered how long I would keep it up. I was never sure how much help, if any, it would be. My last post was in August last year.Continue reading “It’s been quite a while. Again…”

As I have mentioned before, I have only one person who actually comes to my house. My Musical Compadre. The only person I’ve ever shared my Friday night with, we’ve got quite close. Last Friday he told me that he and his partner are moving to Ireland in November. So once they move, that’s it.Continue reading “Only one left… Oh wait…”

Well I find myself in Costa to be on my own and write a bit. I’ve not done this for quite a while. I used to come here every day to write about my grief when I first started this blog. I’m kind of getting flashbacks right now. It’s not great. Especially now I’m confirmedContinue reading “Back here again. It’s been a while…”

Saturday. I got up around midday. I fell asleep while on Zoom so I guess they would have had to mute my snoring. It was the last Electric Happy Hour for some months as Machine Head are going on tour. As a result, our Zoom session was well attended. My Musical Compadre joined me toContinue reading “Soul food.”

So I’m sat on a train, on my way home from seeing Prodigy at Brixton Academy. My headcase friend and fellow widow had a spare ticket and invited me to go. It’s been nearly three years since I’ve been to London and I’ve never been to Brixton. Now I knew going by train at rushContinue reading “The Academy.”

Last night I had the shivers and thought I was getting a cold. I did a lateral flow test this morning (Friday) and it was negative, so I went to work. Feeing tired all day, when I finally got home from work, I did another test. Positive… All this time and I’ve managed to avoidContinue reading “Positive…”

Saturday afternoon. My Princeling has been at his friends overnight. Last nights zoom was dead. Only my friend in New York was on. We spent a couple of hours chatting one on one, then I went to bed. I awoke just after ten this morning. It made a nice change to actually be up inContinue reading “I passed.”

Sunday: Sat waiting for our morning briefing at the Ding vaccination centre. Hardly any staff in today, let alone patients. I’m on front of house for Moderna today. Numbers are painfully low. For the whole 12 hour shift, I have fifteen booked appointments. Fifteen… Last week I wrote over a thousand word post. I guessContinue reading “Now they’ve all grown up…”

Thursday. I only got the call from the vets this afternoon. Bloods were taken on Monday and I was told I’d receive a call to discuss the results on Tuesday. My Princeling and I have been worried sick about Mr C all week. He is nearly thirteen. Very old for a Collie. Nothing a’miss withContinue reading “Countdown…”

So, nearly the end of another depressed weekend. It’s not funny any more. I’ve been keeping quite busy, but every time I sit down, a wave of depression comes over me. Sometimes mild, sometimes horrific. It’s been quite the mixed bag of positive and negative vibes all weekend. My musical compadre came over to watchContinue reading “And around we go… Again… And again… And…”

Saturday afternoon. Sun shining, meditation music on and the house to myself for now. After last nights Happy Hour and Zoom session, I got up just before three. Three!? That’s not happened in a very long time. I was still fuzzy for some time after waking too. After a few coffee’s, I went out toContinue reading “My old friend depression.”

Saturday afternoon, lying on the sofa chilling. The last two days at work were spent on through hole boards. I was singing along to some songs that my musical compadre and I decided to cover. I must have soldered thousands of connections again. I’d like to do this most days if I could. As usualContinue reading “Six day weeks.”