‘Happy’ Christmas.

Well… A lot has happened since my last post. My Princeling is not living with me any more. I don’t feel the need to share the details here as, even though this blog is semi-anonymous, it wouldn’t be fair to share his situation. It’s not mine to share. Suffice to say it’s not been a good time for any of us. He won’t be able to be home for Christmas either. It looks like I’ll be spending Christmas Day on my own for the first time in many years.

It’s been a very strange and stressful couple of months. Yesterday I bagged up all of his clothes ready to be picked up at his request. As much as both of us agree we can’t live together anymore, the conflict between accepting and agreeing with that and the sadness at my last child leaving the nest is difficult to reconcile. It has to be this way though. I just wish it could have happened in a better way.

Hopefully we will be able to rebuild a more healthy relationship once we have both dealt with the situation. I’ve lived alone for nearly two months now. It’s been an eye opener for sure. No wanting to walk home, no anxiety about what will happen when I get home. No more wishing I could stay at work longer. No desire to go to bed stupidly early. For the most part anyway.

We got paid a few days early this month. We all got a little bonus too. I went Christmas shopping on Saturday. The intention was to get a few bits for myself then mooch around for everyone else. Town was packed of course. I got myself a new rucksack for work and a cheap pair of boots then waited outside the piercing studio for it to open. I had tried last weekend but they were fully booked.

Once that was done, I went back into the town centre and it was heaving. The anxiety started building and after a short time I was fighting back panic attack after panic attack. In the end I had to bail before I ended up freaking out and sprinting for the exit.

After Christmas, not much happened. I spent New Year’s Eve alone too. It felt very strange. Everyone else have fun, party’s, and of course fireworks going off all evening and there’s me, on my tod with no one around to party with.

Happy days!