Countdown…

Thursday. I only got the call from the vets this afternoon. Bloods were taken on Monday and I was told I’d receive a call to discuss the results on Tuesday. My Princeling and I have been worried sick about Mr C all week. He is nearly thirteen. Very old for a Collie. Nothing a’miss with the results, thank the gods. Not impressed with the vet, leaving us hanging like that though. Really could have done without days of waiting for my fur baby’s death sentence. That’s what it felt like anyway. Once the blood results came it turned out Mr C was fine. Just very old, bless him.

So my Princeling’s birthday went without drama. He’s now legally an adult. That means that none of my children are children any more. That’s a weird feeling. Forty seven and they are all grown up. Man, I feel old.

Sat in Costa in town, like my early blogging days, writing more of this drivel. I’ve just been shopping for more bits for my Princeling’s birthday. Seriously, I’ve got a lot of anxiety about it. I always do when it comes to birthdays and Christmas. Always the last minute monkey. I was only waiting for the vaccination money to come in but I had several shifts cancelled. That’s nearly £600 lost. His eighteenth would have been spectacular, as it should be. He will legally be an adult on Saturday. I’m taking him out for a meal that day. I told him that he is buying the drinks this time. He chuckled and said “Hell yes!” bless him. Precious is in the same boat financially and we have been bemoaning that fact we can’t REALLY spoil him for it. It’ll have to be much like My Lady’s fortieth and last (as it turned out) birthday year. I like the idea of celebrating a special birthday all year. My Lady had lots of presents over the year. I took her and the kids to Croatia that August. Such a beautiful place. A part of my soul will forever reside on Lopud Island and Dubrovnik.

So that was last weekend. It’s now the following Sunday. I’m sat on my own on front of house at the Ding vaccination centre, on the Pfizer side. Thirty five patients booked for over eleven hours. It’s going to be a very long day. Despite this, and the six day weeks, I’m glad to be back. Not that I’ll get to chat much on front of house. Shame, as it was always nice to chat with my colleagues while we waited for patients to arrive. Talking to these lovely people is one of the things I look forward to most when I’m at the vaccination centre.

It’s going to be so quiet today the clinical band six has spent all week preparing a quiz to help keep us occupied. I struggled to remember anything about the dates for vaccinations. Time between doses, time after having covid etc etc. I’ve been sat here for a full hour and not one patient yet. We are also doing walk in vaccinations today, so hopefully today won’t be too painful.

One of my colleagues from the fire station vaccination centre is on duty today. So good to see him. It’s probably been nearly two months. It always cheers me up seeing any of my former colleagues from there. I still miss working there to this day. By far and away the most enjoyable job I’ve ever had, despite the sub zero temperatures at the beginning. Of course, given the nature of the role, it was always going to be finite. We took over the fire station to create a mass vaccination centre. We had to give the fire station back at some point. An experience never to be repeated. Even if the pandemic hits back with a new variant, that team will never be together again. Beautiful souls, every one of them.

I completed my probationary period for my new job yesterday. I expect to have my review tomorrow. According to my trainer, despite some errors in the last few weeks, he rated me near the top of all the people he has trained. Nice. Hopefully a small pay rise will be offered. I still can’t afford not to have two jobs. The vaccination work is a real financial life saver. I’d be utterly screwed if I had no other work. I’m still waiting for my P45 to be processed and as a result, the taxman is still hammering me. Sure, I’ll get it back in theory, but that doesn’t help me right now. My student loan has started being deducted now too. Mainly as a result of earning so well over the last year or so.

Friday was a blast. A few of the founding subsclub members that hadn’t been on zoom for months joined us. I haven’t laughed so hard in months. So needed. I’ve missed them lots. There’s been another tiff in the group. One guy who has been with us since the start has been pissing quite a few people off recently. He is autistic, and we have always tried to take that into account, but his behaviour has become somewhat creepy according to a few of the lady’s. He has been known to take screen shots of our zoom meetings when things have got frisky, and we have all got real frisky at times. Usually after several hours drinking. It’s not unknown for one or two to strip and start dancing around naked like a nutter. His social media is politically heavy and he doesn’t care who he upsets. A close Polish headcase, who has lost a friend and their family in Ukraine in a truly horrific way, posted an emotional piece about their friends and the Ukraine situation in general. Our autistic friend just posted a counter argument, going on about Syria and Palestine, among others. Many other reasons too. It even got to the point that a new chat group was created simply so the offended parties can stay without him there. He wasn’t on zoom either this time. I’ll be interested to see how that situation develops.

Over two years since My Lady died, and I still catch myself disbelieving what happened. Our bedroom is still 99% how My Lady left it. I was sat up in bed for a while last night, staring at all of My Lady’s products etc, wondering if or when I’ll ever clear out her clothes from the wardrobe. I’ve said it many times, but when will I get around to it? It can’t stay there forever. It’s the same old question though. When will it feel right to clear out My Lady’s clothes and so on? Will it ever? I still don’t know. Part of me wants to but the other part still recoils in horror at the idea. I’d guess despite all her clothes being in the wardrobe all this time, they will all be covered in dust. I haven’t even looked at them in all this time.

I found a post it note at the back of the food cupboard yesterday afternoon. All it said was “Just because.” It was the note My Lady left with a ticket for a drifting experience and a vase of red roses she cut from the bush in the garden. That bush was originally a small Valentine’s red rose plant I got her many years ago. It’s over seven feet tall now. I just stood and stared at the note for over five minutes. Why the fuck did all this shit show have to happen? Why us? After all, isn’t this the kind of crap that happens to other people? If only.

I’ve just had my first break. The weather is glorious outside. I sat in the church graveyard in the sun eating my lunch. At least I’m getting a little sun today. 12 hour shift on a Sunday and it’s forecast to be lovely all day and I’m going to miss most of it. The sun will still be up when I finish today but I doubt it will still be warm. Still sunshine is sunshine and I’ll take it wherever I find it.

One thing I like about the Ding is that it’s a town full of different nationalities. Sat quietly eating my lunch, I could hear so many different languages as people ambled past. I’ve always liked that. I even found myself briefly considering moving there at some point today. That’s new. I’ve thought about whether I want to stay in my house several times over the last couple of months. Now my Princeling is an adult, I feel like I’m on a countdown to him moving out. Until today, I’ve only ever considered moving down to Wiltshire as that’s where My Lady and I always intended to move to, once the children had flown the nest. A bungalow with a big garden would be ideal. Even better, one that backs on to the countryside. Blue sky thinking, but of course, isn’t it always…?