So after what feels like a constant conveyer belt of health issues over the last year and a half, I ended up writing a letter to my doctor in the end. It’s seemed the best way of actually tackling all the various questions I have about my health. I’d never remember it all and this way, he could pick through it at his leisure.
I’ve wanted a full MOT for some time but all I could get was a blood test which came back normal.
I have a crushed vertebra from when I had a seizure in a car many years ago. This hasn’t been reviewed in years, so I was referred for spine x-rays. When the results came back it seems my spine is “ok” but I have reduced density in the bones. Doesn’t sound great. I asked about the lung reports too, as given my smoking heavily for 30 years, one can hardly have the “lungs of an 18 year old”. Turns out they were looking for tumours. What the notes actually said was “Lungs clear.”
I never did get full sensation back in my right leg so I also asked if this could be back related. Apparently not as my injury is in the wrong place for that. So I’ve been referred to neurology for my leg to be scanned for nerve damage. No idea why it would be so, but that’s the point. I have so many more questions after all my tests. It just doesn’t make sense to me that I’m so apparently healthy. I’m also going to neurology for my epilepsy review. I have a sub arachnoid cyst, and although it’s almost certain that its completely benign, it is possible that it could start growing.
On top on all these physical things, I’m still a psychological wreck. I’ve had the weirdest and most confusing thoughts over the last six months or so. And, of course, that bastard, guilt is as pervasive as ever. I wish I could just stay numb and not have any of this confusing stuff. Sometimes I still feel like I’m going through the motions on autopilot too though. Yet more contradictions. I’ve not been keeping up to date on one or two things recently. Never a good sign for me.
My doctor called me the very next day to go through everything. I have to say, I feel lucky to have to doctor(s) I have. They have helped us through the last 17 months so much. So after talking to me for well over an hour, I came away with several referrals in the pipe line. Awesome, finally something useful.
As for my mind, the doctor said he is more than happy to refer me to a psychiatrist, however the NHS will want me to be assessed by Italk first. Fine, whatever it takes. My doctor agreed with me in that all these things need putting to bed once and for all so we can get a life health plan together for the coming years. The guy is a legend.
I’m guessing that the reduced bone density in my spine does not bode well in the long term. Well, it can’t be a good thing can it? I’m so lucky I wasn’t paralysed in the original injury and I have no intention of letting myself end up that way if I can possibly avoid it.
On the back of last weeks X-ray, he is referring me for a deeper scan of my spine to see it in more detail. Strange. I was not scared (for me) in the slightest if I dropped dead from a broken heart, but the thought of going through that much pain again… Not keen at all. I suffered for over six years after it happened.
I’m sat in Costa finishing this off. I must have spent so much time blogging here. I still hate all the happy people out there walking past.
As for the medical stuff, it’s a case of wait and see now… Wish me luck… I guess…
The Life and Times of Lord Crookedhorn. 