11 months…

Yesterday (11th) was 11 months since My Lady passed away. 11 fucking months… I’ve managed to ignore it for the most part and I spent a few hours in our UN meeting last night. Much needed. We had the best laugh in ages.

I’m struggling to keep my shit together today though. They have a classic hit radio station on and for the most part it’s been fine. Today however a few songs My Lady loves came on. It’s was all I could do not to burst into tears.

I started writing this post a few days ago now. I’ve been exhausted all week and have had no motivation at all. All I’ve wanted to do is sleep when I’m not at work. For some reason my right hip has been hurting quite bad at times, particularly when I’m in bed. I have no idea what it is but it kept me awake until half 3ish the other night. Seems I need to stay dosed up for it not to hurt. It’s quite painful too. Great, yet another problem to deal with. I’m guessing it might be because I’m standing all day at work. How many more things? Jebus, how many times have I said that over the last year? Year… Is it really that long? Not far off it. How the hell I’m going to feel on that day I don’t know, but sure as hell it’s not going to be fun. I’m considering taking the day off that day but again, I can’t really afford to.

So Friday came at last. Robb Flynn’s happy hour was on as usual. Knowing I’d be having a late night, I was going to have a nap but that didn’t happen. After a hot shower I was wide awake, if still depressed. I decided to dose myself up on coffee for the rest of the evening and just get up whenever I wake in the morning. No need for an alarm this time.

One of our friends knows Matt Alston, the Machine Head drummer. After the happy hour we all jump on Zoom for our usual UN after party. After about half hour who should pop up in the meeting? Matt Alston. Mental. One by one we are meeting the whole band in Zoom. Love it.

For the most part, Matt just wanted to “lurk” to see what us headcases were like. Once the dildo nun chucks came out though, he challenged Dildotello to take one end in his mouth down to the chain. OMFG! He said he would give him some drumsticks and hook him up at the next gig, whenever that will be.

Obviously Dildotello was not happy about this. A completely straight guy, the thought of having that in his mouth, made of rubber or not, completely did his head in. Matt then set a timer on his phone. No pressure then! Just hilarious. To his credit, Dildotello tried, twice, but obviously being 12″+long, it was never going to happen. I haven’t laughed that hard in months. I needed that so much after my shitty week.

Once Matt had left, we spent the rest of the night (some stayed up till gone 6am!) ripping Dildotello and buzzing off of Matt joining us for the evening. It was gone half 3 by the time I finally went to bed. Happy Friday!

I woke today at gone midday. Last time that happened, it put me in a right shitty mood. Not this time. Once again I am not only grateful for my nearest and dearest, but my Headcase family too. A lot of us had had a crappy week and we all made a point of pulling each other out of the downer.

A new member joined us last night. We did warn her how crazy we get but last night definitely upped the anti on craziness. A little shocked at first, she soon got into the swing of things. I think she may be back for more at some point. Seems a nice (crazy) enough lady.

I don’t know why, but it feels like Sunday today. Thanks the Gods it’s not! I am well slept, I’ve eaten and I’m relatively calm. I’m still depressed and to this day I can’t go 5 minutes without missing My Lady. I’m still in dis-belief at times.

I mean… how the fuck did we end up here…?

Covid is REALLY out of control now and the NHS is about to burst. Wouldn’t it be about right that something would happen that would require me to be hospitalised when the local hospital is beyond capacity? The place is full already.

At the risk of being repeptetive… Fun times.