Fun in the mundane…

One of my clients got me thinking yesterday. I’ve never really been a religious or spiritual man. The closest I ever came was when My Lady and I were courting. Even then I didn’t believe in a deity of any kind. More a worship of nature than anything. I’ve a had a couple of people at work ask me if I was spiritual after everything that’s happened this year.

I’ve never spent much time thinking about it. One thing I am sure of… There is no afterlife. As far as I’m concerned, when you die you just stop… Full stop. Some will claim that a near death experience is proof of an afterlife. Total rubbish in my book. You have to be alive to have a near death experience. Might sound like a statement from the ministry of the bleeding obvious but if there’s one thing I know, is that if My Lady was out there somewhere, sure as hell I would have heard from her if she could do anything about it. On so many levels too.

Nothing… Not one… Tiny… Bit.

So I’m still having that existential crisis. We haven’t discussed it much but my Princeling announced some time ago that he doesn’t believe in any kind of afterlife. Same reason I guess. No contact…

The other thing I’ve been wrestling with is having to come to terms with the fact that one day, everyone will be in a similar situation when they get old. We take for granted to most simple tasks. Imagine not being able to wash yourself. Imagine not even being able to make a cuppa, or go to the toilet. Even get out of bed at all. The filth some poor souls end up living in is depressing as hell. The stench of old rubbish, mouldy tea bags hidden behind stuff, mix in the smell of urine and faeces and it hits home…

One day this could be MY loved one, and logically myself one day. Gods forbid. It’s a pretty dark place to be. No wonder a lot of them are bitter as hell. Not all of course, some always have a smile and despite their condition(s) STILL have a positive outlook on life. A lot of people don’t even know they’re born. If I can pass on one thing that I’ve learned since I started my nursing job, it would be to stop bitching about your ‘big’ problems and be grateful. Be grateful you don’t need someone to wash your personal areas for you. Be grateful you can leave your home… At all. Those mornings where we all blitz the house… What would your home look like if you NEVER did a deep/spring clean?

Please take a moment to ponder on that for a while… How do you see your frail old age going? Whatever your age, don’t just think “Oh that’s decades away, I don’t need to think about that for years!” True enough for a lot of people, but one thing the young can’t appreciate is how quick “all those years” go. If you do nothing about it, please just think about it for a while. It’s not just the elderly that are needing care. Learning disabilities, strokes, brain injuries to name but a few can affect you at any age.

Finished early today and I’m hoping to pop in to see my dear friend and newly adopted sister if she is home. Miss her and my newly adopted brother lots.

So, getting back to the point, most of my evenings are spent pondering Life, the Universe et al. What’s the bloody point in any of this crap. Not much that I can see right now. Even if I believed in an afterlife, I’ve still not had anything I would call ‘evidence’. I don’t think I’d find comfort in it if I did. If My Lady was aware at all, all I can think of is how much she would be suffering seeing what’s happened to the three of us and indeed the world since she passed away. What I wouldn’t give to talk to her about it all.

Just finished the first McBreakfast I’ve had in months. Much needed. This getting up at half five is crap. Eat, sleep, work, repeat… Like much of the rest of the world. Not my idea of a good life though. Honestly I’d rather be poor and have more time. Been sat in McDonald’s a while now. Time to slug the coffee and get going.

Finish this later…