15th September 2020.
This morning I wake from the most horrific nightmare. I lost all three of my family to Covid. My Princeling has woken up with a sore throat and a cough. Please let be something else. It’s the season for it to some extent but I’m so hyper aware if not paranoid about it, it’s actually a major trigger. I only found this out this morning. Great… I have been applying left right and centre for caring roles, both as a volunteer and paid roles. There is even a government website to help people into the caring industry.
17th September 2020.
Well… Interesting couple of days. My Princeling has caught a bug. It looks like a normal cold but we have been told to isolate and get a Covid test… Great. So I go onto the NHS Covid test site. Nothing for two days. Then I struck gold. Or so I thought. The nearest test site available was in Northern Ireland! What the hell? It’s all so broken. So now I can’t start a job even if I got one. Not for another two weeks anyway. My Princeling and I seem to have adjusted well. After months of lockdown, two weeks doesn’t seem so long.
18th September 2020.
Jimi Hendrix died on this day…
I’ve been waiting the a train to run me over for days now, maybe even over a week. Simmering from the moment I got up, the emotions got stronger and stronger. Slowly at first, then I’m caught by the self pity hook and put on my “Shattered Heart” playlist. I had quite a crying session. I’m kind of ok now but it’s so shit. The longer I go without crying, the harder it is when I do. I’m also annoyed as it wasted hours of my day when I could be doing useful things.
I got a surprise call today from one of the local care homes. It was just a courtesy call to say they are very interested but obviously can’t let anyone into the home at the moment but they wanted to assure me I would not be forgotten. How lovely of them.
So it’s my birthday tomorrow. I’ve considered it quite the non event the last few years and this year… Well lets just say I’m not into it. Not because I feel old, although I do, but because My Lady isn’t here to share it with me. I did do one thing though. I’ve been frustrated with my metal sound from my amp for a while and after a few weeks researching, I purchased a Boss MT-2 distortion pedal on finance. £3 per month… Lol. I actually forgot it was my birthday so had it sent for next week. Then I thought ‘Sod it, why not?’. Something to take my mind of yet another shitty date.
I’m pretty tired now after so much crying but I’m still craving something… I don’t know. I think I’ll play guitar for a bit before I settle down to watch the Machine Head happy hour with Robb. Very entertaining.
Night peeps. x
The Life and Times of Lord Crookedhorn. 