“Remember the old Sunday routine?”…

So I’m sat in my nice and tidy garden. Stripy lawn, weeded and watered beds, my three Princeling’s are fed and watered and ready for college, well one of them obviously… Sitting listening the The Queen of Everything again having flashbacks to the countless times I’ve sat here pondering recent events. Part of me wants to pause the world so I can lose myself in thinking about My Lady… As if I didn’t think of her every second anyway.

It’s officially autumn now. Another season over with. Autumn will be so hard this year. I’ll never forget our first autumn drive between the Mouth and here. Beautiful oranges, reds, and yellows. Last autumn we made an effort to get out and enjoy the fallen leaves. Hmm. While I’m writing this, I can see a flock of birds on their way south. How I wish I could go with them. Just fly away to hotter climes and never come back.

I think I want to move somewhere hot when I’m older. I can see myself living by a beach somewhere hot, with a simple job and a simple life. Contemplating in the garden always makes me want to escape. I think when I’m sat here, I feel closest to My Lady despite her ashes being in our bedroom. No idea why. Maybe because my garden time is spent in such intense thought about her.

The sun is starting to set on yet another crappy day. I’m so glad to be shot of that migraine. I’d be completely useless if it was still there tomorrow. So… Tomorrow starts another week of intense life admin. Don’t know what else to call it really. Jobs, finances, education stuff. You know the drill.

As the birds start the evening chorus, the track changes to ocean waves… So relaxing. I so wish she was here. She would have loved what I’ve done. It’s quite the sanctuary at times. God I miss her… I’m drinking her favourite juice. Mango, or “Mang” as I loved her calling it. If only I had a time machine. Seven months since My Lady passed away and I’m still in denial half the time. I mean… How the fuck did we end up here? No really… The light is fading now and I’ll go in and scroll through Facebook again like a social media automaton, gorming at the screen all evening. Before I know it, it will be bedtime. Then it’s up, sharpen my sword and off into battle I go. Dramatic much. Still, it’s the attitude I need to have when tackling these matters. I’m still not used to having to do absolutely everything. Don’t get me wrong, I have achieved more than I thought possible but it’s not enough yet. As I mentioned before, it’s all very well being the storm but I have to keep it up… Permanently. I know I’m not the first person to find themselves in this position but it’s still mind blowing.

So as the light fades further, the sky is clear and the birds are singing while a pastel orange hue slowly appears to the West. I expect the Pipistrelle’s will be out shortly. This is why I always stay here until it’s almost completely dark. Funny… Mr C and Mr T are both moaning at me because I’m still here when it’s getting dark. They both want me to go inside. Cute.