Phase 569.0… Complete…

26th August 2020.

Today we enrolled my Princeling into college. Another life event… Also happens to be the anniversary of my Mother in law’s death… A whole year… Already. It’s hit me harder than I thought it would. I can still hear her say “Bless their hearts.” In ‘that’ way she always did. I miss her so much. With her and My Lady gone, it only leaves myself and Mr… ‘Wolverine’ lets call him, left of the social circle from when I met My Lady in 2007. My Lady introduced me to Wolverine not long after we met. He was playing a gig at a local shopping centre. A former Marine with the biggest of hearts and a great drummer. While we were still living in the Mouth, Wolverine and I, along with Mr Straight, regularly got together to play a few songs in the interval of the plays My Lady had written herself. She had directed them all with my Mother in law. Lets call her Mum from now on. The plays were put on by troubled teens and young adults. Underprivileged kids “NEET’S” and little legends every one in their own way. Bless them.

Wolverine has been a solid friend ever since I met him. A man of his word who would do anything for his friends. Another who I’ve considered family for years. We were talking about how weird and sad it was to be the only ones left. At this age too. Mental. I asked him to be a pall bearer at My Lady’s funeral. He is the oldest friend we have… Had? Ugh. I hate that.

Well, I managed two whole days without crying. I’m grieving two people today. To be honest I have been for weeks. All of August really. On our holiday last year, the possibility of Mum passing while we were away was always in the back of our minds. Mum was a legend with the most hilariously dry humour. Passionate about the theatre and a staunch feminist. Love her so much…

I randomly just worked out how many deaths I’ve had to deal with. I’ve lost 9 people and three pets in fourteen years. At one point I lost three close relatives in five days… Can you believe that? Am I the only one that thinks that’s a little excessive? I still can’t believe I haven’t ended up being sectioned by now. All this carrying on lark… It’s exhausting you know. I’ve felt like I’ve been winging it in life for a while now, on and off.

Job things seem to be moving forward. I have a consultation on Friday via Zoom and I’m waiting on a response from a few more care providers too. Still not being blocked. I have noticed one thing that hasn’t changed since I was last job hunting. There’s only so much searching you can do before you have seen all of the vacancies, with the odd one popping up each day. Ping the CV here there and everywhere and see what happens.

Half one already? My time perception is way off still.

So now I’m sat here, gorming at the screen wondering what to do next… How new. As I type, the sun has come out. If it stays that way I might go and tidy the garden. I keep telling myself it needs doing but… You know the drill by now.

Think I’ll have a nap instead.