50% off…

16th August 2020.

So I’m sat in McDonald’s this time, taking advantage of the eat in to help out scheme. What a great way to tackle societal obesity. Well it works, I’m here having spent barely £3.

Still can’t shake this new downer. Had a nap two days running. That never happens. I say new but looking back this hasn’t stopped since I collected the lock of My Lady’s hair. I’ve been up and down but it’s always there. Skulking in the dark corners of my mind like some kind of demon, eyes glowing red like hot coals, forked tongue flicking out into the light with a sickening hiss.

This is the part of grief I resent the most. Mainly because it’s debilitating and stops me getting anything done (other than naps) and it makes one feel weak and pathetic. I’m not… I know I’m not. I’ve proven it many times since My Lady passed away. So what gives? Knowing the psychology behind it all actually makes it worse, as you can’t act on it. As mentioned elsewhere, anxiety about having anxiety… Vicious cycle. Spiteful even, if you ask me.

Done in McDonald’s. Dropping off some audio equipment to my friend.

I’ll finish this later…

Smoking in the garden at the end of another mental day. It was good to catch up with my friend today. We haven’t had the chance of a really good chat in ages. We talk every day but still… Made arrangements for coffee next week with Mrs White Sage. Must be hell for her and all the other teachers this week. Absolute cluster fuck this year due to the governments u-turn on the algorithm fiasco. Now we are using predicted grades after all. What a mess. My Lady would have so much to say on the matter. What I wouldn’t give to hear what she had to say about it. This whole year actually.