May 14th 2020. 00:20
The trouble with trains is you never know when they are coming, the same rings true with grief. Just yesterday the emotional freight train hit me again just when I need to be strong and positive for my Princeling. I hate the way it just comes out of the blue after a period of calm… Bam! You don’t see it coming and it’s all you can do to not totally freak out in the middle of a shopping centre for instance. Once the train has hit me, it’s hard to snap out of it and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it initially.
So, my Princeling turned 16 twenty minutes ago. It’s such a strange feeling, being so proud and so happy, yet my soul hurts so much that his Mother was not here to see it. She missed the receiving of his National Insurance number recently too. Life is so cruelly unfair at times. We both were unsure how/if we should celebrate and of course given lockdown, our options were somewhat limited. We made the best of a sad moment and tomorrow we will get together online with his sister and friends. It’s at times like these that the finality of it all hits home…Again.
The Life and Times of Lord Crookedhorn. 